Thinking back to what I wish I would've thought to do first, when my partner & I first discussed turning our way too vanilla relationship into a D/s dynamics with him as the male submissive & myself as the dominant woman (Domme), the one thing that I think would've been the most helpful to start with, would've been to sit down & talk about your "ideal" selves; who you'd really relish being if neither of you were worried about who might care or have something judgemental to say about it. You know, who you'd be if neither of you ever let the world beat you up & hide the awesome people you really are underneath those muggle masks & costumes.
To do this properly, make sure you go beyond who you want to be in a kinky sense; who you want to become as individuals & as interdependent partners/playmates; including how you will feel when you become that person, is almost more important than any way you might desire to be sexually satisfied, and by pursuing your passions beyond your bodies, you enable those orgasmic physical moments to become unforgettably ecstatic experiences.
Once you've written down who you want to become, then discuss how you can intermingle your kinks with your life goals; setting it up so that your whole selves are nourished by your D/s relationship & vice versa.
Then (if you haven't already) get a notebook or journal that you two can use together, to write down various ideas, fun times, notes to each other, etc...and in the front of that notebook/journal, write an Intention Statement; write down why you want to explore your submissive side for yourself, why you want to explore being submissive to this partner/playmate in particular, what benefits you intend to gain from pursuing this sort of dynamic with this partner, and where you'd like to see yourself in 1 year andor 5 years; as a submissive & in your muggle life.
Have your Dom/me do the same Intention Statement, but change out "Submissive" for "Dominant", etc...
Really put some effort into this, beyond the "I want to submit to her/someone" & "I want to Dominant him" or "Because he wants me to dominant him" or "because I want to please/be dominated".
Once you two have fleshed out your intentions, you'll be better able to communicate with each other & to find the right ppl to communicate with to get the kind of assistance/ideas you're looking for. There's plenty of other benefits to doing this also.
And the best thing about pursuing this exercise, is that it can only help you learn more about each other, even if you can't get your partner to do it or find yourself having trouble doing it 😜
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