Sexformant Q&A: "Can you have a Healthy Romantic Relationship without Sex?"

I just received an email not long ago, from Becky in Beaverton, Oregon.

Becky asks:

Can you have a healthy ROMANTIC Relationship without Sex? Or without both partners being sexually satisfied?

Here are my thoughts Becky: 

It's not impossible to have healthy Romantic Relationships without a healthy erotic and sexual component to it. Though unless you're both lucky enough to authentically be identically asexual or to have another reason for not needing or desiring a healthy outlet for your sexual energy, then it's highly unlikely that both of you will want to make a sexless relationship or marriage work, even if it wasn't already highly unlikely to hold together.

In order for a romantic relationship to "succeed", I'd say they need one of these four dynamics;

• You're both Asexual andor have very low libidos and satisfied with a long term romantic commitment without any release for sexual tension.
• You've both designed and consented to customized monogamish, polyamorous or open relationship dynamic with your partner, where either of you can go out and get your sexual andor erotic needs met as need, without going against the consensual boundaries of your relationship dynamics.
• You've both consented to a short term or timed relationship (wherein you only agree to be exclusive for the summer or winter or something).
• You've both talked about and consented to, or are desiring a relationship filled with strife, stress, cheating, drama, toxicity, head games, depression and other negative dynamics.

Unless you're both on board and consenting to one of the above dynamics, then there is no way for a romantic relationship to survive without a consensual sexual dynamic wherein all partners are getting their erotic and sexual needs satisfied along with their emotional, intellectual and pair bonding needs.

Without healthy sexual interpersonal relating between all partners in a romantic relationship, what you're really looking at is a roommate situation rather than a deep romantic relationship.



Do you have any questions about healthy erotic, romantic andor sexual dynamics?

Send your questions to Sexformant@gmail.com or leave them in the comments below (confidentiality can be protected if you desire it)